UNTOLD FACTS ABOUT DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

Many abusers after they realize that their partners are not going to accept physical mistreatment, they change their tactics and become emotional abusive. Most abusers never change they just keep switching tactics, it  never gets better. Women wanting to be the heroins and trying to help them ended up destroyed or victimized,Tina Turner lived 14 years of abuse and  it took her more than 8 years of therapy to recover. Whitney Houston experienced abuse  for almost 20 years and she was never able to help her abusive partner she just allowed him to drag her into the same hole with him. Check this facts and walk away if you have to: 

·          He may try to have two women at the same time and make them angry at each other so they spend energy fighting with each other, while he gets away with his infidelity. Real love has emotional intimacy, sex and commitment.

·          He may try to engage you in a committed relationship too soon

·          He may try to make you pregnant to easily abuse you 

·          He may be disapproving of all your activities

·          He may criticize you and put you down or be self-righteous

·          He may use great sex to keep you hooked into the abusive relationship.

·          He may use his relatives or new girlfriend as allies to harass you, if you had left him.

·          He may be depriving you of sleep at night with any excuse

·          If you had left him, he may use his relatives to get closer to you to re-establish you as his victim again and again.

 

·          A man that  was abusive towards his partner, it’s going to be abusive with all his romantic partners until he fully acknowledges that he has a problem and decides to change. Unfortunately, since batterers blame their victims for the abuse, they fail to take responsibility for their actions and most of them never change.

·          Abusive men lack compassion for women. They see women as inferior. And they are overly emotional dependent of women. No woman can fulfill their irrational emotional needs.

·          Abusive men become more violent when his partner threatens to leave him. So, don't give any warnings. Just leave when you can avoid confrontation.

·          Big changes in life also trigger their abusive behavior like pregnancies, a new job, or a new career that will keep his partner busier.

·          Most abusers just learn new abuse techniques in the court order mandated batterers programs; since, in most states they are ineffective.

·          Emotional abuse it’s hard to detect, but if there has been physical abuse the chances to happen are 99 percent; and it’s as harmful and destructive as physical abuse.

·          Abusers focus in making their victims to feel helpless. It never gets better. Run at the first sign to avoid years of misery and unhappiness.

·          As the abuser becomes more aggressive, he will become more dependent of drugs and alcohol and of course the abuse will be a lot more intense.

·          The only way to avoid abuse it’s to cut all contact with the abuser, many times you even have to end all contact with his family  or your family and friends since he will use them to get in contact with you.

CAN YOU HELP AN ABUSER TO BE A BETTER HUMAN BEING ?

Yes, by walking away from him. So, he realizes that he has a problem.
Tina Turner was physical abused for about 14 years, Whitney Houston was emotionally and physically abused for about 20 years or more, and they both wanted to help their husband Tina said “everybody had left him, I wanted to be there for him” Whitney said “he was my husband, I have to be there for him” These abusive men are adults, they are the only ones that can help themselves, no one else. These women allowed the abuser to victimize them, when trying to be their heroines. Don’t make the same mistake! You cannot help anyone but yourself, abusers, drug addicts, alcoholics and cheaters will drag you into the same dark hole that they are in.

A romantic partner is like a business investment, you don't invest in a company that has problems. Look for a healthy, peaceful and respectful man that adores you and shows you his love. If you are already in love but he doesn’t make you happy remember that it’s better to walk away at the beginning that after years of misery. It takes half of the time you were in a relationship to heal your heart, and forget about that person. So, the sooner you end an unhealthy relationship the sooner you will get over. It doesn’t matter if he was your first boyfriend, your first love and you know him since you were wearing pampers. Fact is, you were born alone and you have been happy that way for years. So, you will come back to your natural state and you will be yourself again, but definitely a lot emotionally stronger!

YOUR PAST CAN BE SABOTAGING YOUR LOVE LIFE

By Leading the Feminine Dignification

If there is history of domestic violence in your family, you may unconsciously act violent, it’s important that you heal your past and fully acknowledge how it’s affecting your relationships. Read books from experts in domestic violence to learn more about how it alters you, so you can consciously change your behavior and be in peace. Get an experienced psychologist or therapist, you don’t have to carry your painful past for the rest of your life. Take charge of your life

ABUSERS AND YOUR FUTURE CHILDREN

As I was doing research  about domestic violence, I came across with  a rape video of a famous celebrity that endure years of physical abuse by his cocaine addicted husband. In the comments one got my attention:

"This remind me of what it happened to my mom and my sister on her 15th birthday"

For many girls their 15th birthday it's one of their happiest days in their lives. How can someone do this to a young woman and her mother?
It you don't want to walk away from an abusive relationships for yourself, do it for your children. If you don't have children yet, check your romantic prospects background and avoid unhealthy relationships at all cost. 99 percent of abusers don't change, they just switch tactics of abuse; and enourmous percentage of them sexually abuse their partners and children.

UNDERSTANDING MEN WILL MAKE YOUR LIFE EASIER

 APPRECIATE MEN AND THEY WILL BE MORE CARING TOWARDS YOU

Understanding men natures will help you in all your relationships with men, from parenting your boys, to understanding your boss, coworkers, male friends, brothers, uncles, etc.  Appreciation is one of men’s emotional needs and many times women have no clue of how important it’s for men. I loved when men are caring towards me and I know that they definitely feel good when I appreciate their efforts, it’s is about caring enough to give each other what we need. So, I make sure I appreciate my love ones and my closest friends, and all the other males that show up in my life because they made my life a lot easier, from the mailman, to my son’s teachers! When you appreciate men they feel inspired to be more caring towards you.

DATING TIPS FOR WOMEN

      Men are the most wonderful creatures on earth, you just need to understand males to bring out the best in them. According to Dr. John Gray author of Mars & Venus on a Date “a man feels successful when he is successful in making a woman happy” Therefore, forget about everything the media, the feminist, or your friends have ever told you about men, so you can really understand them.  To comprehend how good men feel when they make a woman happy and they are appreciated for that, I want you to practice this:

    Fix yourself the best that you can, feminine but not vulgar, and go to a public safe place like a shopping mall, a restaurant, a movie theater, etc. and wherever you are observe how attentive men are with you, appreciate them and smile. You will be fascinated to see guys everywhere you go trying to make your life easier and be happy to help you. The first time that Katy tried this she was amazed; she was truly surprised to see many men caring about her, she start seeing men with different eyes and all her relationships with men improved.  

     When practicing this exercise remember not to make the mistake to assume that they already want to pursue a romantic relationship with you. It takes quite some time for men to actually develop feelings for a woman and to want to pursue a romantic relationship with her.  I only want you to understand that men’s nature wants a lot more than just sex, they want to find a woman that they can make happy and who loves them just the way they are. However by nature men feel sexual attraction for a lot of women at the same time. For that reason it’s important that at the beginning you just be friends until he had develop feelings for you. Just don’t settle for friends with benefits. You are in charge of your romantic life as long as you don’t give sexual gratification, once you give it, you have lost your power.

     Men have been brainwashed by the media and the pop culture to be promiscuous and many of them have never had a healthy romantic relationship with one woman. They have meaningless sex with many women, but they have been missing the opportunity to find someone meaningful in their lives that makes them truly happy. Therefore, learning about men natures will help you to understand males, take the lead to bring out the best in them  and more important you will be able  to expose them to  a new fascinating world many of them don't even know. So, remember this 4 dating tips:

1) A man’s primary goal is to succeed in making a woman happy.

2) Appreciation makes him feel successful, inspires him to do more for you and makes him more attracted to you. 

3) Hold on sexual gratification to keep men interested.

4) Giving sexual gratification too soon places you in the booty call list

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AND DATING

Leading the Feminine Dignification is an empowering, straightforward and inspiring self-help book for women. Even though, it’s not specific about domestic violence, it has important and substantial information to prevent it. Since, it’s easier not to get involved in abusive relationships in the first place, than to try to get out of them. Some abusers may use great sex to hook women in violent relationships; others will make women pregnant soon after they meet to abuse them. Be careful, in some states a father is not an unfit father for the merely fact of killing his wife! Yes, this happens in America and one out of three women lives in domestic violence. Know your romantic prospects well, before you become romantically or sexually involved. Date people you know from some time, not complete strangers!